You are the clear example
of bitterness.
I stood right next to you
all through out your difficult moments. Remember when nobody else wanted to
hear about your problems? When you told me about your deepest secrets and I
told you I’d always be there for you? When I said that you had to be strong, ‘cause
you deserved it? ‘Because you deserved everything.
Eventually, we got to stop
talking to each other for a while. Whose mistake was that? People can talk and
invent –they’re born to this-, but you and I are the only ones who really know
what our friendship has meant. And I just can’t believe I’m now writing this.
To me. Because we both know that you’ll never read it and, in case you do,
you’re now far away from understanding my words.
I know I was wrong. All of
us are born to live, but also to learn. My mistakes are clear, and I’m sorry
for them. I know you’re aware of that, because I’ve always been the one who’s
had to feel sorry. Not trying to recriminate, really. I’m being honest: when I
said ‘sorry’, I really meant it. But sometimes sorry is not enough.
And now, when none of us
want to say the words ‘I’m sorry’, I realised long ago that it’s because
there’s no need in blaming each other.
In fact, I’m going to
confess that I had a huge problem with myself –that I still have -, and I’m dealing with more than an issue right now.
But I just didn’t see your bomb coming. I guess I thought you were by my side.
I really thought I could trust you. I appreciated you a lot, as a friend. I
really did. It is your choice whether to believe me or not. You never explained
why you were mad at me. Not a call nor a message. I had to wonder it all by
myself and with some other people’s help. I got to say it wasn’t fair. Not even
to you.
You can’t say I never
tried, because I did try. It’s really not my fault that you didn’t want to hear
(or read) me, I was as honest as I
could’ve been.
I don’t know why you have
to do things so difficult. I never asked for apologies. Most of the times, I’m
un-selfish, but I’ve got lots of things on my mind, and it breaks my heart to
do this, but crawling back to what once was a friendship and now isn’t is not
something that will benefit me. I have to take care of myself, too.
And if you ever write me,
or call me, or come and see me, I will be very glad. But this is about two, and
there is only one person trying.
<<Who
you are is not what you’ve been. Taylor Swift, ‘Innocent’.>>
